PERSONALITY STRUCTURE Losing to Win #2

LOSING TO WIN

PERSONALITY STRUCTURE

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Diagnosing a broken structure requires familiarity with the nature and function of its parts.  To relay the results of any investigation demands the use of accurate terms with precise meanings. To correct the effects “loss” had on my personality I first had to deal with a semantic difficulty.  Psychologists, Sociologists, Philosophers, Anthropologists, and other fields of study frequently use terms and definitions peculiar to their specific disciplines.  Unfortunately more often than not they adopt Biblical terms but alter them with none Biblical definitions. I also recognized from my study as a pastoral counselor that despite a shared vocabulary nearly all Christian Theologians use their own nuanced definitions for the same words.  The entire topic of human personality seems plagued with vague terms and fuzzy definitions.  The simple fact is the Bible was never intended to be used as a psychology text book.  Rather its purpose as stated in 2 Tim. 3:15-17 is to make us “wise for salvation” and equip believers “for every good work”.  So it should not be surprising that on the topic of human personality even the Bible varies its own wording with quite vague meanings on the subject, especially between the New and Old Testaments.

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Even so, a lot of Christian authors and Biblical scholars agree that the term “heart” means man’s personality.  The physical heart makes a great metaphor for its none-vascular namesake.  Both are composed of two regions with four functioning chambers. Naturally a case could be made for other configurations.  Yet the number of well-known authors, theorists, and Biblical as well as none Biblical scholars that use the concept in their work contribute a great deal of legitimacy to this model.  An abbreviated list of those who use the four-sided heart approach to personality includes such authorities as:  Judson Cornwall, Stephen Covey, Lawrence J. Crabbs, Ron Jenson, Peter Honey, Carl G. Jung, David Kolb, Robert S. McGee, Pat Springle, and many others.

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While grasping at the topic, I was struck by the number of instances of scriptural repetitions related to the quadrilateral nature of man’s personality…that is the heart.  Perhaps the clearest example of the four elements of man’s personality is found in Romans 15:13.  

“May the of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit,”    Romans 15:13 (NIV)

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These four components are further divided in two distinct spheres within the heart it calls the soul.  Of course Jesus describes the heart and its structure with extreme precision in Mark 12:30 and it is repeated in Luke 10:27. 

 “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.”

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Viewed as whole this pair of pairs affords a tremendous visual aid for identify the makeup of the human heart. 

I constructed the diagram below to illustrate the structure showing its components.  It pictures the “HEART” as the entire unit while the “SOUL” refers specifically to the orbits in which four interrelated elements operate.  

 Notice the Bible references do not include the diagram’s central feature, the human spirit.  That vital feature is the focus of a future blog. We must set it aside for now in order to concentrate on the soul of man’s heart.  The exclusion, at this stage of the discussion, serves to keep us from confusing the spirit’s role with that of the soul.  The differences between the spirit and soul are too important to allow their distinctions to get mixed-up. 

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 There are quite a few references that confirmed the quadrilateral structure of the soul. The most convincing ones include; Colossians 1:9-13, 1 Thessalonians 1:3, Philippians 1:9, and Ephesians 1:17-19 + 3:17-19.  Each of these is a prayer for Godly maturation in the hearts of the saints.  Taking these as a whole they provide a standard by which to evaluate the healthy resilience well-formed heart.

The elements of personality categorized in this manner helped me visualize the consequence of loss.  Without this kind of dissection into identifiable components an accurate assessment of a healthy personality would be impossible.  However with this list I believed I could (A) identify and (B) assess areas of weaknesses within me.  Such a procedure is essential for a diagnosis.  However as you follow me through this process please heed the warning of a respected expert in the field of psychology, Lawrence J. Crabb, Jr., Ph.D.

“As I discuss the various component parts of this whole person, I may give the impression that I think of a person as nothing more than an assortment of parts.  Let me state clearly that I believe a person is an indivisible whole.  My effort…is to better understand how that indivisible whole functions by looking at the key functioning elements within the human personality.”

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The components of the soul identified in the previous diagram and chart present a number of descriptive words.  I found it most convenient and descriptive to synthesize terms for those components from those words. The two main categories of the soul then became Emotion and Intellect. They could have been Instinctual and Mental, Feelings and Ideas, or something else but Emotion and Intellect worked just fine.

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Emotion is subdivided into (1) Identity and (2) Action.  “Identity” can be thought of as our inclination to establish associations with people, places, ideas, and things.  “Action” designates the element of personality that activates our capacities to confidently initiate conduct.  The two facets on the intellectual side are (1) Knowledge and (2) Understanding.  The things we think we know I recognized as “Knowledge” and the things we believe are true or real is “Understanding”.  These four combine to form what some refer to as our attitude of heart, our personality, or our heart.

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With accurate terms selected to identify these four aspects of personality I believed I was able to confront the harmful effect of loss but could now discover a workable solution and present the results in a reasonable manner. However before that I had one more key feature to identify within the heart.  That central feature is mans’ spirit.  Understanding the human spirit and the role it plays in the human heart led me as I hope it leads others to the Key which overcame the destructive effects of loss in my life.

INTRODUCTION, Losing to Win

LOSING TO WIN

INTRODUCTION

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How could I,   a minister of the gospel, having enjoyed a front row seat to God saving souls, healing afflictions, comforting the sorrowful, expanding His kingdom, and building His church be unable to draw on His power to overcome the effects of loss in my own heart when I left professional ministry?  The God, I had regularly watched do miraculous things through me, now seemed powerless to relieve my distress. Frustration, anxiety, anger, and sorrow eventually captured hidden places in my heart.  The easy victory I had grown to expect over a personal sin slowly became more difficult to win.

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To avoid temptation all I had to do was increase my Christian service.  It had worked well for years.  However all non-ministry activities, interests, pursuits, and relationships received less and less of my attention.   Eating, sleeping, and drinking Christian service had the benefit of ever increasing ministry successes but required an ever narrowing focus.  It seemed to be the fulfillment of the scriptural injunction to, “Walk in the Spirit, and ye will not fulfill the lusts of the flesh.” (Gal. 5:16 KJV)  However I had gone from walking in the Spirit to walking in the ministry.  Toward the end, waiting on the Lord was a luxury I could not afford.  I was just too busy. 

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I had become addicted to “ministry”.  The more I gave it, the more it demanded. I needed more of it to fight off sin’s promise of momentary relieve. A relieve I desperately needed with the increasing demands and frustrations of my over booked schedule.  Losing my “self” in ministry I eventually felt hopelessly separated from God.   It had to stop…so I quit. But now what?

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I, who turned to ministry in times of temptation, was baffled by my inability to gain either comfort or victory from God.  Not only did I find myself almost defenseless when in the grip of a reoccurring temptation but my whole life was being disassembled.  Thankfully, a couple of former parishioners took pity on me.  Their loving intervention helped push me along in the grieving process.  Of course the grieving process does not, as I discovered, end with a healthy reassembled personality. It simple brings the griever to the starting point of a major personality overhaul.

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One day, while driving down the freeway my thoughts replayed the tragic effects of my loss.  It was as if I was looking through the lens of a camera.  I saw my grief widen to include my wife and children.  I recognized, perhaps for the first time, the negative impact my loss was having on them.  Unexpectedly the focal point widened to reveal several other ex-church workers and their loved ones, each broken, disappointed, alienated, confused, and hurting.  Suddenly the field of vision opened on a vast crowed of displaced Christian workers and their families all experiencing some degree of a similar sorrow.  Tears veiled the road ahead as I was confronted with the compounded pain.  For an instant I felt the compassion God must feel for that distressed multitude.

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I was compelled to discover the dynamics of that kind of sadness.  It crossed my mind that if I could get myself free from the effects of this sorrow perhaps I could help others reach a similar freedom.  And so I began an investigation into the brokenness of loss hoping to discover a repair.   I concluded the investigation and recorded my findings about ten years ago.  I need to share those findings that resulted in a life joy and peace I could not have imagined before.

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 That is why, starting March first, I intend to boil down those findings and present them as a series on my blog, captjbeppler.blogspot,com  The series is entitled, “LOSING TO WIN.”  

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I’m hoping the report will help abbreviate the effects of loss for someone else.  I encourage comments at the end of each post.  Doing so will allow us to deal personally with any aspects or details that need amplified or clarified.  Please join me as I share my experience of “LOSING TO WIN”.

THE POSSIBLE DREAM

THE POSSIBLE DREAM

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Many dream the impossible.  The dream may not actually be unattainable but could not be maintain even if attained.  So then there are two kinds of impossible dreams.  There are dreams that are impossible because they truly are unrealistic and those which may be attainable but unsustainable. Overcoming evil with good is one of those ridicules dreams which is both. Nonetheless we cannot help but long for the beauty inherent in the dream of good triumphing over evil.  Something inside us longs for that kind of justice.  

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As human beings the kind of justice we are most familiar with is retribution…an eye for an eye.  It is hard to imagine another kind. However Jesus displayed a superior justice offering Himself on the cross.  In his books Derek Flood calls this type “restorative justice”.  The dream was attained in Christ and was left for His people to sustain.  However awakening within a world of massive cruelty and injustice overcoming evil with good is an impossible dream. Yet that is exactly what God calls us to.

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Oswald Chambers insists in his February 16^th devotion from, “My Utmost for His Highest” that there are occasions when God inspires us beyond mere human initiative to actualize an impossible dream.

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“We all have any number of visions and ideals when are young, but sooner or later we find that we have no power to make them real.  We cannot do the things we long to do, and we are apt to settle down to the visions and ideals as dead, and God has to come and say-‘Arise from the dead.’ (Eph.5:14)  When the inspiration of God does come, it comes with such miraculous power that we are able to arise from the dead and do the impossible thing. The remarkable thing about spiritual initiative is that the life comes after we do the ‘bucking up.’ God does not give us overcoming life; He gives us life as we overcome.  When the inspiration of God comes, and He says-‘Arise from the dead,’ we have to get up; God does not lift us up.  Our Lord said to the man with the withered hand-‘Stretch forth thy hand,’ and as soon as the man did so his hand was healed, but he had to take the initiative.  If we will do the overcoming, we shall find we are inspired of God because He gives life immediately.”

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When inspired by God we likewise must overcome the impossibility within ourselves to realize good overcoming evil in our hearts, in our families, in our country and in our world.  Even today when God wakes us from the impossible dream I pray that we will “buck up”, take the initiative, and live the possible dream.

LIGHT IN SYRIA?

LIGHT IN SYRIA?

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Syrian good news is hard to find.  The Guardian and Project Syndicate are reporting on a possible Aleppo fighting freeze initiative being hammered out by UN Syrian envoy, Staffan de Mistura. “Aleppo First” represents a small practical first step toward a very distant none violent stabilization within Syria and that region.  The objective is to get aid into the citizens of Aleppo before 400,000 of them become refugees while create cooperation among the combatants.  It is not a peace plan imposed on warring factions by some external power but rather a realistic effort to get the major players and their minor proxies to focus on the humanitarian side of their war.  The ultimate goal is to provide a forum for future negotiations among the various forces.

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In order to get on the long-term goal of regional stability de Mistura has been meeting with all of the players.  He is calling on them to face the reality of postponing some of their present demands for the good of the people caught in the middle.  For example the West will yield on its insistence on the immediate exit of Assad and the irradiated of ISIS before aid is given, the proxies will not evacuate areas while postponing aspirations of regional domination, the conferring factions will keep their weapons but agree on a mutually acceptable enforcement mechanism and forgo violent retaliation for minor freeze violations.   

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While this is not a peace plan it does present a foundation for one sometime in the future.  It could be adapted into a peace plan forum.  Even if nothing comes of it right away it suggests that there are none violent options to the horrific bloodshed.  At this point de Mistura’s “Aleppo First” strategy of incremental reduction of violence to aid the suffering in that city is the most hopeful development thus far.  I’m praying his plan prosper and that peace will follow.

DEAR ANONYMOUS

Dear Anonymous, 
 I'm NOT betraying your confidence by blogging our conversation.
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The good thing about your blog response is anonymous comments cannot be traced.  The same is true for the gmail response you gave to a blog post.  However that is also a bad thing because I can't send a gmail reply to you. That being true, I feel good about protecting your privacy while bringing our rather intimate discussion to this more public stage.
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Anonymous <noreply-comment@blogger.com>

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "THE FORBIDDEN TOPIC":
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John,
Of course if you title a post "forbidden" i am going to read it. I look forward to reading more.
I am one who viewed this as an "unattainable goal" hoisted upon us by the church. I had a particular resentment toward the apostle Paul for this. Although my struggle is very different, I have found that the daily conscious contact with God as i understand him, and simply asking for strength has seemed to help create a "situational awareness" when I am beset by feelings that would lead me to seek comfort in something else.
I look forward to reading more......
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Pray for me as I will for thee,

Posted by Anonymous to John B. Eppler at February 2, 2015 at 10:01 AM

Dear Anonymous,  I'm praying for ”thee” and we. I am very pleased to receive your response. Knowing there are others who recognize God's presence and yield to His will is encouraging. . Yielding rather than fighting changed my "unattainable goal" from a constant struggle to an attainable victory of rest and relief.  . I find the concept of God a metaphysically ridiculous idea.  Yet I am also one whose drives, desires, and passions make him vulnerable to immoral and personally unacceptable behaviors.  That is why 40 years ago I turned to God and discovered the freedom He provided at the cross.  However it was not a once-and-for-all fix.  When I allow myself to ignore God I find I'm still as hopelessly vulnerable as ever. So I don't have another option...I must believe. And quite frankly I don't even want another option.  Faith in and yielding to His abiding presents and love has changed my uncontrollable passions into unexpected peace.   . If, as you suggested, you would like to read more take a look at the series of "SIN's EXIT" posted 8/15/2014